Tuesday, August 3, 2010


I have been going along trying to convince myself that simply cutting calories will help me lose weight quickly. While, yes, this is true...I only have a certain amount of time between now and my best friend's wedding. I NEED TO WORK OUT!!!! I went last night and felt great this morning. I cannot be lazy when it comes to losing weight....i need to be doing BOTH (hence the 1+1=2). NO EXCUSES!

Last Friday night was a an "Ah Ha" moment for me....I am typically very social and not shy....well, we were all tailgating and there were a bunch of guys in the row next to us seeing me make shots...they semi-flirted with me, but I was very aware that this was mainly because the were interested in the shots....not so much me. I am usually confident that at least one out of the 8 would be flirting with me, but this time...i was confident that it was the shots. No hard feelings...they were nice enough and we all laughed and had a good time, but I am literally in a shell of myself right now. I feel like I'm trapped in a fat suit. The sooner I can unzip it...the better. I can move on with my normal life.
Don't get me wrong- I definitely have issues with my weight without the additional pounds that I recently acquired, but I am socially more acceptable, I can physically do more, & I can fit in to clothing and look descent.

Notice that I do not call myself "Fat"too often. I am very much against labeling myself as that because I do not want to BE that. I am not that. I will not allow myself to be that any longer. I allowed myself to become that because of self sabotage. It was a conscious decision....I am making a conscious decision to lose this extra weight. I may currently have extra pounds to lose,but they can be shed and they will be shed.

Thank you all for the words of encouragement....it really helps!


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